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This morning I sat down at the wooden bench next to the lift at the first floor and guess what I saw? My name. It was written in permanent blank ink like: “Syafiee…” 

I asked almost everyone I know if he/she wrote my name down because I was too disturbed by it. I don’t know if someone is trying to play a prank or something but really it’s not funny. I’m really disturbed. Above that I saw the name “yana”. I know of no one whose name is yana like seriously who the fuck would want to write my name. And the ellipsis just makes it thrice as creepy.

I’m just bloody confused who the fuck is yana

I’m so touched by the number of people who actually wished me Happy Birthday today. It really makes my day when people take the time and make the effort to do so, be it on facebook, in rl or through sms. Though I should give credit to people who write me shitlong messages and I appreciate them more then they know. 

Then again I feel really guilty this morning/afternoon because half of the people who wished me Happy Birthday were either people I barely know and can’t remember their names or don’t know at all. I just really suck at remembering names and I salute you for 1) Remembering my name and 2) Remembering my birthday. I thank you for your awesomeness and I admit I am a complete douchebag.

Once again, thank you thank you thank you for making my 2nd August an amazing one.

Koi sucks

I wasted $3.50 buying a shit drink i don’t know why so many people go crazy over lining up for a trillion millenia for this waste

What is with the question: “I like your shoes!!!” or “I like your shirt!!!1!”

What? do you want it? Do you want me to remove my shoes and give it to you? Do you need me to strip in public and hand my shirt to your since you like it so much? It’s just stupid when I have no idea what to say afterwards. 

It’s as ridiculous a question as when I’m about to go out with someone and he asks me: “What are you wearing?”. Like okay wtf do you like want to wear the exact same thing or do you just want to look as good as me which is utterly impossible okay

okay okay okay

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While waiting for my movie to load I want to rant about something that had just happened about an hour ago:

Miss Ng is really full of shit. We wasted 2 hours today waiting for her and enduring her exceptionally useless lecture, which I think she thinks we’re obligated to care about for some strange reason. Come on, it’s the fucking 21st century in Asia and no we don’t bow before our parents and teachers anymore so please wipe that off your mind. She’s not even that old or is she from Planet X or something?

I’m blogging about this after all to remind myself how wonderful I am and forgive me but all the insults she had thrown at us has missed me by a million inches because I don’t need she to tell me how weak I am academically and I know, and I don’t need anyone on the face of this planet to tell me, whether or not I’m going to do big things so your can just go fuck your own mother (if she’d let you).

So yes today we spent 2 hours listening to rambling half of us don’t even understand. At least, I don’t. I don’t at all. I don’t understand how lecturing us as if we’re supposed to feel bloody guilty with ourselves would improve our “attitude”. I don’t understand how insulting us, how directly pointing out our flaws in front of the whole class would make us feel any more committed to studies. And I absolutely don’t fucking understand how she screaming at us would be our fault. Hold your shit, it’s she who’s so fucking petty and it’s she who’s frustrated with her life that we all get it. Is it our problem that you’re in a bad mood? Honestly, I wanted to have some quality studying this afternoon but since it’s almost 6 it’s nap time. And I think the strangest thing of this whole “experience” is the fact that she thinks, somehow, she is being a good teacher. Fuck, no. Tell me, which “good” teacher spends 2 hours telling his or her students shit they don’t even want to listen to? What the hell makes him/her think that any of this will make us want to listen to him/her afterwards? It annoys me so much how she’s trying so damn hard but miserably fails.

So this afternoon she ranted at me for so called, stoning (not paying ‘deserved’ attention), through her whole pointless, time-wasting lecture. And then I sat there thinking, what the fuck do you want me to listen to? Doesn’t she hear what she’s saying? Is she my guardian angel of some sort? Because really I’m not afraid of her no matter how much she thinks I am. I am really not and I don’t see why I should be. I’ll let her scream all she wants because at the end of it all it’s her breath she’s wasting and all I lose is? Nothing.

And then there she was in class saying “don’t let me catch you gossiping about me behind my back”. lol look at me now bitch. After hearing this thought from her I found it really difficult to keep my laughter to myself because she was really irritated already and laughing in the middle of the already-dead class wouldn’t help would it. And then after that she demanded us to tell her what we’re not happy about her and obviously no one would reply. Who the hell would give half a fuck? Because all it seems to me is that she’s trying to prove us “wrong” like the last time she asked the exact same question. In the first place why is she asking for our opinion if she’s so damn ignorant? And does she expect a lion out of nowhere to tell her that she’s a frustrated, unhappy woman who has no one and nothing else to vent her anger to? Yes we’re all cowards, what do you think we’ll benefit after saying how she’s treating us is unfair because all she thinks is the fact that teaching the way she wants to teach will miraculously give us an A1 for our ‘O’ chemistry. Go to hell bitch who do you think you are. You’re barely part of my life fuck off.

Anyway at the end of this lengthy rant, I hereby confess that I actually do want to be a teacher. It was really way before secondary school. I just feel the thrill most educators feel when I impact someone’s life. I also think that my secondary one teacher best exemplifies the best teacher I’ve known (starting to feel like I’m writing a forced school journal now). This particular teacher actually gives a fuck. I’m not saying I should have a perfect chemistry teacher, heck- I’m definitely not a perfect student myself. I’m just saying she’s just a really forgettable one and clearly, of all things, the one who has made the least impact.

I wanted to continue my rant but my movie has loaded. This was fun.

2 strangers spoke mandarin to me today. i don’t even look chinese i don’t understand. my grandmother is chinese but i look nothing like her so i really don’t get it. the only mandarin i know is hello and thank you and that’s about it. i can only speak hokkien vulgarities so ok

felicity-avenal:

mynameshowardmoon:

This is so stereotypical and it just really annoys me and ugh, WE DON’T EVEN FUCKING SOUND LIKE THIS.

and especially with my british as fuck accent it just sounds dickish.

i just said it out loud with a hardcore malay accent and no. just no

avionne:

ohbabyitsnatalie:

Elephants have been known to die of broken hearts if a mate dies. They refuse to eat and will lay down, shedding tears until they starve to death. They refuse all human help.

Scientists are beginning to believe that animals do have emotions and that their feelings may be more intense and unfiltered than our own. Emotion rises from the old brain, the limbic system, which birds and reptiles as well as dogs, humans, and other mammals share. Humans have additional brain structures and symbolic language to process our feelings and a complex array of psychological defense mechanisms that allay or soften the impact of our emotions. We repress, deny, subjugate, dissociate, and use all kinds of conscious and unconscious machinations to separate ourselves from our feelings, but animals have no such recourse, so their emotions are likely to be raw and strong. In fact, this may be one of the reasons we find them so attractive: they wear their hearts on their sleeves, so to speak.

People seem to deny the existence of animal emotions so that they can continue to justify inhumane treatment and exploitation and avoid the fact that our actions have a deep emotional impact on our fellow beings.

So sweet

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